"Your ability to love...

...will help a child in need." ~Panda Express Fortune Cookie. That, my dear friends, is the little note that my heavenly Father tucked inside a Panda Express fortune cookie for me a few weeks ago! This was the tangible, visible evidence that the Eyes of Heaven are watching me, and that what I'm doing is valued, good, and important: that it's His plan for me. It's a reminder that even through the preparations, packing, and travelling, that He is in the midst of it all. He will continue guiding my steps and giving me the courage and boldness that I will need as I follow after Him and what His heart aches for: orphaned children. It gives me chills just thinking about how this fortune cookie, of the hundreds at the restaurant, came to me. I doubt that this was a coincidence. This phrase is so applicable to this trip to China and while I'll be volunteering at the University of Minnesota Masonic Children's Hospital. Frankly, this will likely define the rest of my life.

It is crazy to think that in T-24 hours I will be at the Chicago O'Hare International Airport with my teammates awaiting our flight to China! I'm so extraordinarily excited and terrified. Excited to see where the Lord is leading my life, to travel to a place I've never been, to love on the children my heart aches for, to deepen my trust and faith in the Lord, and to make new friends. Terrified of the long flight, "squatty potties," the language barrier, and potential illness.

To be honest, I'm also scared of being changed. Scared of seeing the hardship that many people live in/with, and then coming home to America and seeing the extreme excess of everything. Scared of maybe finding out what the Lord wants from me in my life and Him changing my heart and life... because once I know His will for me, I will have very few excuses to not be doing it. Scared to make such deep bonds with these babies and having them change me, but then having to leave them.

Please don't get me wrong though, all of these fears are also some of the things that I am most thrilled about. It is a beautiful concoction of fear and anticipation.

Thinking about all of these things reminds me of a song that will likely be my theme song for this trip: "Oceans" by Hillsong:

You call me out upon the waters The great unknown where feet may fail And there I find You in the mystery In oceans deep My faith will stand And I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I am Yours and You are mine Your grace abounds in deepest waters Your sovereign hand Will be my guide Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me You've never failed and You won't start now So I will call upon Your name And keep my eyes above the waves When oceans rise My soul will rest in Your embrace For I am Yours and You are mine Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior Oh, Jesus, you're my God! I will call upon Your name Keep my eyes above the waves My soul will rest in Your embrace I am Yours and You are mine

Thank you, all, for your continued prayers for me, my teammates and leaders, and the children and staff at Maria's Big House of Hope. Blessed to know you and be known by all of you. I send my love to you and yours. Audrey